Comparative and absolute

Alexander Paulikevitch : "當你面對自己時，社會將不再是重點"

我在2018年一月讀到這個引用句。現在過去了接近一年的時間，我有了什麼改變？ 沒有吧，我想。我還是一樣的，一貫的我。只不過我不會再讓別人告訴我，真實的我之外我該是什麼樣子的。

我相信世上存在著兩種價值系統：比較價值觀 與 絕對價值觀。比較價值觀是由”市場”決定價值（行情）的，例如，房地產的價值。另一方面，絕對價值觀是對某人來說有”本質”上的價值，例如，某人的家對某人的價值。某人的家對其他人來說，可能只是房地產而以；但是反過來看，市場上房地產的市價並不會改變”家”對某人的價值。

個人的價值也是一樣。如果別人(“市場”)說我的性別是男性，它並不會讓我成為男性因為我確定知道我是女性⋯如果有人告訴我我不夠好，這並不會讓我成為不夠好的人，當我知道我做的已經超出”夠好了”的程度⋯ 同樣的，如果有人告訴我，我做的已經夠好了時，並不能讓我做的事成為可接受的，尤其當我知道我能夠做得更好。

正視自己 - 那些美好的與醜陋的 - 才能塑造絕對價值觀。這是唯一能做自己的方法。

 

Alexander Paulikevitch : "Once you face yourself, the society is irrelevant"

I read this quote in January 2018. Now it’s been almost a year, what has changed in me? Nothing, I suppose. I am still the same me as I have always been. Except, I no longer allow people to tell me otherwise.

I believe there are 2 kinds of value systems: the comparative and the absolute. Comparative value system is one that has its value determined by the “market”, eg. the value of realestate. On the other hand, Absolute value system is one that is “essential” for someone, eg. the value of home to someone. A home for someone may mean nothing more than a piece of realestate to someone else; on the other hand, market price of realestate does not change its value to someone as home.

It is the same for personal value. What others (the “market”) say or believe to be “me” does not automatically become “me”; it only becomes “me” when I don’t know what I am (the “essential”). If someone tells me that my gender is male, it does not make me male when I know for certain that I am in fact female... if someone tells me I am not good enough, it does not make me not good enough when I know for certain that I am more than good enough... likewise, if someone tells me I have done a passable job, it doesn’t make it acceptable when I know I could have done better.

Facing yourself - the ugly and the beautiful - is the only way to build the Absolute value system in you. It is the only way to be yourself.

she-de

中文是多麼美麗的語言啊。

因為中文是以單字為基本單位，辭彙是以各自有單獨意義的單字組合而成的， 因而帶給辭彙更深一層的意義。

我最近當在為一個組織複雜行為模式不一般的的家庭設計新家時，常常會想到”捨得“這個辭彙。如果你上網搜尋， ”捨得“的英文翻譯為”willing to let go (願意捨棄)“。 但是如果把這兩個單字拆開來看又會浮現有趣的事情:-

“捨” ＝ 捨棄

“得” ＝ 得到

“捨棄”是為“得到” － 捨棄仇恨於是得到寬容；捨棄執著於是得到自由；捨棄一些私人空間於是得到更多與人共享的經歷。在“捨得”的意義解釋中，“願意”去捨棄是必須的，但捨棄後的“得到”卻是不一定的。可是，從“捨得”一詞的兩個結構單字來說，“願意”是不存在的，而從捨棄的行為有所“得到”卻是基本的。

當我們心中塞滿了東西，我們就不再有空間容納任何其它的東西。所以(只有)當我們捨棄某些東西－願意與否－我們才能在心中空出空間去接受一些新的事物，才能去”得到”。

Chinese is such a beautiful language.

As it is character-based, phrases are made up of characters each with unique meanings, which in turn give the phrases an additional layer of depth in meaning.

Lately whilst working on a new project with a complicated family structure and unusual program, I have been thinking a lot about the phrase “捨得（she-de)”. If you g**gle it, she-de means “willing to let go”; but if you break up the 2 characters something interesting comes to mind:-

“捨 (she-)” = to let go

“得 (de)” = to gain

To let go is to gain in return - To let go of grudges is to gain generosity; to let go of attachments is to gain freedom; to let go of some personal space is to gain more shared experience. In the meaning of “she-de”, the “willingness” to let go is essential, the “gain” from letting go is optional. However in the character composition of the phrase, “willingness” is non-existent but “gain” from letting go is fundamental.

When we are filled up inside, there is little room for anything else. Therefore (only) when we let go of something we held onto - willingly or not - we open up some space inside ourselves to accept something new, to “gain”.

Common Sense

“常識”從來都不應該被視為理所當然。它是經年累月沈積下來的信仰與習慣，但它也可以是非常個人及自我中心的。

每次當認識一位新的客戶時，就是重新檢討何謂常識的最好時機；尤其當客戶不是個人單位－一對夫婦，一個公司，一個組織機構，等等。很有可能在一位“客戶”當中已經存在了數套不同的常識，而它們都不是絕對的。

接著設計案的性質也需要注目。它是私人用途（例如住宅），商業用途（例如餐廳），公共用途（例如大學）？使用者可以是特定少數，不特定多數，或介於兩者之間的任何一點。

很多時候設計案停擺的原因，在於參與的（很多很多）人不能夠達到共識。如同生活中許多事情，最小的第一步大概是開始接受 每個人都有著跟你稍微不同版本的常識 的事實，並且準備好出發去尋找 大家不同常識版本中重疊的“常識分母”。

無論我們的常識是多麼不同，這些常識間必定或多或少有共通的分母。最終決定的是你，願意付出多少努力去尋找這個分母呢。

“Common sense” should never be taken for granted. It is the product of beliefs and habits formed over prolonged period of time, but it can be something very individualist and egocentric.

Every time when meeting a new client, it is the time to reassess what is common sense; even more so when the client is not singular - a couple, a company, an organisation, etc. It is highly likely that within the “client” there exists several sets of common sense, and none of them are absolute.

Then the nature of the project comes into play. Is it for private use (eg. house), commercial use (eg. restaurant), public use (eg. university)? The users can be specific small number, non-specific large number, or anything in between.

A lot of the time projects go on hold, because the common sense can not be shared amongst the (many many) people involved. Same as a lot of other things in life, the first baby step is probably to start recognising that everybody owns a slightly different version of common sense to that of yours, and be ready to seek out the “common sense denominator”, where the various versions of common sense overlap.

No matter how different our common sense are, there is ought to be a common denominator. It is about how much effort one is willing to invest in finding it.

kotodama

日文裡我最喜歡的單詞之一是 “言靈 (kotodama)”。它很直白的意指言語的靈魂 － 一種信仰，相信從我們口中吐出的言語，在我們賦予它聲音後，就擁有了自己的靈魂。

我很清楚的記得一次爭吵中的一瞬間；我心中感覺到的憤怒，我腦中蓄滿了的高溫 … 還有面對充滿惡意的評論想要用更惡意的言語回敬的誘惑。但是那將會帶領我們到甚麼地方？一個充滿更多傷痕，更多憤怒的地方 － 那是我們想要的嗎？

所以在那次爭吵的那一瞬間，我選擇了說：“言わないのが美徳” － 我有不說的美德。

有些人主張誠實的重要性（誠實的活著是我的目標），但是當我們被憤怒洗腦時，說出的是我們真心的話語嗎？說出這些話為我們達到了甚麼？”誠實“ 並不能成為缺乏自我控制的藉口。

不管是不是民間信仰，如果我們將要說出的言語不能比沈默更加優美，我們又何必麻煩呢？

我們是有智慧的生物，我們有能力選擇我們的行為及反應。

One of my favourite words in Japanese is “言霊 (kotodama)”. It means literally word spirit - the belief that the words came out of us, once vocalised, have acquired spirit of their own.

I clearly remember one moment in the middle of an argument; the anger I felt in my heart, the heat filling my head … and the temptation of fighting back the mean comments with meaner words. But where would that lead us? More hurt, more anger - is that what we want?

So in that moment of argument, I chose to say: “言わないのが美徳” - I have the decency of not saying.

Some argue that it is important to be honest (and that is how I strive to live), but do we really mean the hurtful words we say when overtaken by anger? And what do we achieve by vocalising them? “Honesty” can not be an excuse for lack of self control.

Whether or not it is a magical belief, if the words we are going to speak do not sound more beautiful than silence, why bother?

We are intellectual beings, we can choose our actions and reactions.

Where is home

常常有人問我：“對你而言，家在哪裡？”

雖然我對臺灣的依戀有增無減，我的答案會是雪梨而不是臺北。

很簡單的，我知道方向，知道法規，知道專業人脈 … 比在世界的任何地方，我更知道如何在雪梨生存。

的確，”家是心之所在” … 但是老實說，家該是讓人覺得最安全的那個地方。

I get asked a lot: “so, where is home?”

As much as my attachment with Taiwan has been growing continuously, I have to say that “home” is most likely Sydney rather than Taipei.

Simply because I know my way around, I know the regulations, I know professional connections… I know how to survive in Sydney, more than anywhere else in the world.

Yes, “home is where the heart is” … but realistically, home is where one feels safest.

badass

我去拜訪了一個不在雪梨市內的客戶。設計案完成後已過了一段時間，久未見，他很訝異我把滿頭的髒辮給剪了。

“它們（髒辮）很 … 強悍啊 …” 他說。

他完全可以放心，沒有髒辮我仍然一樣強悍。

強悍的是我，不是我的頭髮。

你准許你的外貌定義”你”嗎？還是你是擁有定義自己外貌主權的人呢？

 

I visited a client out side of Sydney. It has been a while after project completion so I haven’t seen him for some time, he was surprised to see that I have cut off my full head of dreadlocks.

“They were … badass …” he said.

He can rest assured that I do not need my dreadlocks to be badass.

I am the badass, not my hair.

Do you allow your appearance to define you? Or do you define your appearance? 

multifaceted beings

所有生物都是擁有多個面像的存在… 我們很容易的會忘記，蔬果孕育食物的同時，也能孕育美麗的花朵。

All organisms are multifaceted beings… it is easily forgotten that vegetables are also bearers of lovely flowers.

on imitation

“模仿是最高形式的奉承“ － 可可. 香奈兒

我認為設計是一種，當它被與世界分享後（展示給客戶，被建造，被出版…）就已經擁有了獨自生命的存在。如同一個孩子 － 雖然是從我誕生的，但却不可避免的成為它獨立的個體。

對我而言重要的是，能夠持續創造更多設計的能力。以及能夠維持這種能力的毅力。

與其擔心人們拿走我已經創造的設計，我更願意選擇前進。前進而繼續創造更多，更好的。

“Imitation is the highest form of flattery” - Coco Chanel

I think of a design as something, once shared with the world (presented to client, constructed, published..), has taken on a life of its own. It is like a child - it was born out of me, but it inevitably becomes something of its own.

What is important here for me is to be able to keep on creating more designs. To be able to maintain that ability.

Rather than concerning about people taking what I have created, I choose to move forward. And continue creating more and better.

on blind courage

“すべてに応じて, 動きとらないのが一番損です。”

今日、いいこと言ったなーっと自分思ちゃいました。

“在所有的情況之下, 不採取行動是最大的損失“

對自己的行動小心沒什麼不對。

但是我們有時候會太小心了，反而阻止了前進的腳步。

如果我當初知道自己開業會遭遇甚麼困難，或許當初就不會開始了。

在我們的人生中，盲目的勇氣的確有著絕對的地位。

”Under all circumstances, not taking action is the biggest loss of all.”

There is nothing wrong about being careful with what we do.

But we can be too careful and stifle our steps.

If I knew I was going to be confronted with what I need to face in order to work for myself, I wouldn’t have started in the first place.

Blind courage certainly has its place in our lives.