everything’s never lost

在你最黑暗的時刻請你記得，其實你並沒有失去一切。

At your darkest hour please remember, everything is not lost. 

———————

“Everything’s Not Lost” - Coldplay

當我細數我大大小小的心魔

發現原來每天都會有一個

我把其中的善意放在肩膀上

然後把其他的惡意趨趕走

When I'm counting up my demons

Saw there was one for every day

With the good ones on my shoulder

I drove the other ones away

如果你曾經覺得被忽略

如果你以為失去了所有

我會在這細數我的心魔

期盼著其實我並沒有失去一切

If you ever feel neglected

If you think all is lost

I'll be counting up my demons yeah

Hoping everything's not lost

當你以為一切都已經完結

你全身上下都可以感覺到

每個人都為打擊你而出現

你可別就這樣淪陷了

When you thought that it was over

You could feel it all around

Everybody's out to get you

Don't you let it drag you down

因為如果你曾經覺得被忽略

如果你以為失去了所有

我還是會在這細數我的心魔

期盼著其實我並沒有失去一切

'Cause if you ever feel neglected

If you think that all is lost

I'll be counting up my demons yeah

Hoping everything's not lost

唱出聲來吧⋯

其實我們並沒有失去一切

我從沒有故意要對你不好

我來這裡就是為了告訴你

但是如果我做錯了，那麼我很抱歉

我不會讓這個錯誤橫亙在你我之間

因為我的腦無法抑制的憎恨我自己

當我想著那些我不該做的事

但是我們都知道，生命是為了生活而存在

而我不想一個人生活

唱出聲來吧

然後繼續的唱下去

Singing out ...

Everything's not lost

Now I never meant to do you wrong

But that's what I came here to say

But if I was wrong, then I'm sorry

I don't let it stand in our way

'Cause my head just hates when I think of

The things that I shouldn't have done

But life is for living, we all know

And I don't wanna live it alone

Sing out

And just sing

until you can't

你是怎麼樣和別人成為朋友的？你們之間必然存在著一些共同點 － 同一個學校，同樣興趣，一起工作，住在附近… 我覺得甚至可以說“朋友”是我們的某一部分的延伸。

How do you become friends with somebody? There must be some similarity - same school, same interest, same profession, same neighbourhood….. I feel it is fair to say that “friends” are an extension of a part of ourselves.

跟許久不見的朋友聚會一向都是令人深思的。在我們的歷史中有一段時間我們曾經共享了將我們聯繫成為朋友的共同點；在人生的路途上我們曾經同在一個地方。然後我們作出了不同的選擇－轉學，開始新的興趣，換工作，搬家到不同的城市/ 國家… －於是我們的共同點消失了。

It is always fascinating to catch up with a friend after a period of time. For a certain period of time in our history, we shared the similarity that has brought us together as friends; we were at the same place in life. Then we made different choices in life - changed school, started new hobby, changed job, relocated to new city/ country… - and our similarity disappeared.

由於我覺得朋友是我的某一部分的延伸，透過我的朋友們作出的選擇，我幾乎可以看到如果當初我作出不同的選擇的話，我的人生可以會是甚麼模樣；像是看著一個人生分支 。而每一次這樣的聚會後我總是會感覺到一種異樣的鼓舞：

As I see friends as an extension of a part of myself, it is almost as though I am seeing what my life could have been if I have made a different choice, through the choices my friends made; like seeing a split life . And every time after these catch-ups I felt a strange encouragement:

那是一個我本來可以擁有卻選擇不要的人生。在我選擇現在這個人生的同時我也放棄了其它的可能性－或許我本來能有的孩子，又或者我本來可以得到的穩定收入… 反之我現在能夠奢侈的專注於經由工作對這個世界作出我所能的微小貢獻，以及享有通過設計表達自己的自由。我需要不停前進直到我不再能夠，才能讓這個選擇值得我的人生。

That is the life I could have had but chose not to have. I chose the life I have now by giving up the other possibilities - child I could have had, steady salary I could have secured... Instead I have the luxury of being able to concentrate on what I can give to the world through my work, and the freedom of self expression through design. I need to keep going until I can’t, to make this choice worthy of investing my life.

這讓我想起了這首歌：

This song pops into mind:

———————

“On the Radio” - Regina Spektor

(選段 extract)

這就是這麼一回事
你一直年輕直到你不再年輕
你一直愛著直到你不再愛了
你一直嘗試直到你不再能夠
你一直笑著直到你流下眼淚
你一直哭著直到你終於笑了
而每個人都必須一直呼吸
直到他們嚥下最後一口氣

This is how it works 
You're young until you're not 
You love until you don't 
You try until you can't 
You laugh until you cry 
You cry until you laugh 
And everyone must breathe 
Until their dying breath 

不，這就是這麼一回事
你窺視你自己的內心
你拿走了你喜歡的東西
然後試著愛上你拿走的東西
之後你把你創造的愛
塞入某個人的心裡
吸取那個人的血液
當你們攜手散步時
你希望你的愛不會受傷
但就算它受傷了
你仍然會再來一次

No , this is how it works
You peer inside yourself 
You take the things you like 
And try to love the things you took 
And then you take that love you made 
And stick it into some someone else's heart 
Pumping someone else's blood 
And walking arm in arm 
You hope it don't get harmed 
But even if it does 
You'll just do it all again

Happiness forgotten

 這首歌完美了。

This song was perfection.

———————

“No Choir” - Florence + The Machine

以”快樂”為題寫歌是一件困難的事

因為當我年紀愈大

就愈發現“快樂”是一個特別平淡的主題

And it's hard to write about being happy

'Cause the older I get

I find that happiness is an extremely uneventful subject

這裏將不會有壯大的副歌

不會有唱詩班加入

來唱詠兩個人坐在那裡無所事事

And there would be no grand choirs to sing

No chorus could come in

About two people sitting doing nothing

但我必須承認

我這麼做都只是為了我自己

我猜想你是從某些巨大卻無名的恐懼躲避來到這裡

但是寂寞從不曾離我而去

我一直將它帶在身邊

但在與你相處的愉悅中我能夠將它放下

But I must confess

I did it all for myself

I gathered you here to hide from some vast unnameable fear

But the loneliness never left me

I always took it with me

But I can put it down in the pleasure of your company

這裏將不會有壯大的副歌

不會有唱詩班加入

沒有人會寫出不朽情歌

它將完全被遺忘

And there will be no grand choirs to sing

No chorus will come in

And no ballad will be written

It will be entirely forgotten

如果明天它完全結束了

至少我們曾擁有它一瞬間

哦親愛的，世事似乎是多麼不穩定

但是我們曾經能夠短暫的靜止不動

And if tomorrow it's all over

At least we had it for a moment

Oh, darling, things seem so unstable

But for a moment we were able to be still

這裏將不會有壯大的副歌

不會有唱詩班加入

沒有人會寫出不朽情歌

這將完全被遺忘

And there will be no grand choirs to sing

No chorus will come in

No ballad will be written

This will be entirely forgotten