Alexander Paulikevitch : "當你面對自己時，社會將不再是重點"

我在2018年一月讀到這個引用句。現在過去了接近一年的時間，我有了什麼改變？沒有吧，我想。我還是一樣的，一貫的我。只不過我不會再讓別人告訴我，真實的我之外我該是什麼樣子的。

我相信世上存在著兩種價值系統：比較價值觀 與 絕對價值觀。比較價值觀是由”市場”決定價值（行情）的，例如，房地產的價值。另一方面，絕對價值觀是對某人來說有”本質”上的價值，例如，某人的家對某人的價值。某人的家對其他人來說，可能只是房地產而以；但是反過來看，市場上房地產的市價並不會改變”家”對某人的價值。

個人的價值也是一樣。如果別人(“市場”)說我的性別是男性，它並不會讓我成為男性因為我確定知道我是女性⋯如果有人告訴我我不夠好，這並不會讓我成為不夠好的人，當我知道我做的已經超出”夠好了”的程度⋯ 同樣的，如果有人告訴我，我做的已經夠好了時，並不能讓我做的事成為可接受的，尤其當我知道我能夠做得更好。

正視自己 - 那些美好的與醜陋的 - 才能塑造絕對價值觀。這是唯一能做自己的方法。

Alexander Paulikevitch : "Once you face yourself, the society is irrelevant"

I read this quote in January 2018. Now it’s been almost a year, what has changed in me? Nothing, I suppose. I am still the same me as I have always been. Except, I no longer allow people to tell me otherwise.

I believe there are 2 kinds of value systems: the comparative and the absolute. Comparative value system is one that has its value determined by the “market”, eg. the value of realestate. On the other hand, Absolute value system is one that is “essential” for someone, eg. the value of home to someone. A home for someone may mean nothing more than a piece of realestate to someone else; on the other hand, market price of realestate does not change its value to someone as home.

It is the same for personal value. What others (the “market”) say or believe to be “me” does not automatically become “me”; it only becomes “me” when I don’t know what I am (the “essential”). If someone tells me that my gender is male, it does not make me male when I know for certain that I am in fact female... if someone tells me I am not good enough, it does not make me not good enough when I know for certain that I am more than good enough... likewise, if someone tells me I have done a passable job, it doesn’t make it acceptable when I know I could have done better.

Facing yourself - the ugly and the beautiful - is the only way to build the Absolute value system in you. It is the only way to be yourself.