在關於使用 非母語的語言 一事上，我常常在用日語交談時收到這樣的反應：
On the subject of speaking a non- mother tongue language, I get this a lot when speaking Japanese:
「你聽起來說得真溜！」
我的回覆是：「⋯只因為我說得很多，足夠讓我不介意我的錯誤」
“You sound so fluent when you speak!’
Me: “... only because I speak enough of it, that I am comfortable with making mistakes.’
我們最大的阻礙就是對 丟臉 的恐懼。
The only obstacle is the fear to embarrass ourselves.
中文是多麼美麗的語言啊。
因為中文是以單字為基本單位，辭彙是以各自有單獨意義的單字組合而成的， 因而帶給辭彙更深一層的意義。
我最近當在為一個組織複雜行為模式不一般的的家庭設計新家時，常常會想到”捨得“這個辭彙。如果你上網搜尋， ”捨得“的英文翻譯為”willing to let go (願意捨棄)“。 但是如果把這兩個單字拆開來看又會浮現有趣的事情:-
“捨” ＝ 捨棄
“得” ＝ 得到
“捨棄”是為“得到” － 捨棄仇恨於是得到寬容；捨棄執著於是得到自由；捨棄一些私人空間於是得到更多與人共享的經歷。在“捨得”的意義解釋中，“願意”去捨棄是必須的，但捨棄後的“得到”卻是不一定的。可是，從“捨得”一詞的兩個結構單字來說，“願意”是不存在的，而從捨棄的行為有所“得到”卻是基本的。
當我們心中塞滿了東西，我們就不再有空間容納任何其它的東西。所以(只有)當我們捨棄某些東西－願意與否－我們才能在心中空出空間去接受一些新的事物，才能去”得到”。
Chinese is such a beautiful language.
As it is character-based, phrases are made up of characters each with unique meanings, which in turn give the phrases an additional layer of depth in meaning.
Lately whilst working on a new project with a complicated family structure and unusual program, I have been thinking a lot about the phrase “捨得（she-de)”. If you g**gle it, she-de means “willing to let go”; but if you break up the 2 characters something interesting comes to mind:-
“捨 (she-)” = to let go
“得 (de)” = to gain
To let go is to gain in return - To let go of grudges is to gain generosity; to let go of attachments is to gain freedom; to let go of some personal space is to gain more shared experience. In the meaning of “she-de”, the “willingness” to let go is essential, the “gain” from letting go is optional. However in the character composition of the phrase, “willingness” is non-existent but “gain” from letting go is fundamental.
When we are filled up inside, there is little room for anything else. Therefore (only) when we let go of something we held onto - willingly or not - we open up some space inside ourselves to accept something new, to “gain”.
日文裡我最喜歡的單詞之一是 “言靈 (kotodama)”。它很直白的意指言語的靈魂 － 一種信仰，相信從我們口中吐出的言語，在我們賦予它聲音後，就擁有了自己的靈魂。
我很清楚的記得一次爭吵中的一瞬間；我心中感覺到的憤怒，我腦中蓄滿了的高溫 … 還有面對充滿惡意的評論想要用更惡意的言語回敬的誘惑。但是那將會帶領我們到甚麼地方？一個充滿更多傷痕，更多憤怒的地方 － 那是我們想要的嗎？
所以在那次爭吵的那一瞬間，我選擇了說：“言わないのが美徳” － 我有不說的美德。
有些人主張誠實的重要性（誠實的活著是我的目標），但是當我們被憤怒洗腦時，說出的是我們真心的話語嗎？說出這些話為我們達到了甚麼？”誠實“ 並不能成為缺乏自我控制的藉口。
不管是不是民間信仰，如果我們將要說出的言語不能比沈默更加優美，我們又何必麻煩呢？
我們是有智慧的生物，我們有能力選擇我們的行為及反應。
One of my favourite words in Japanese is “言霊 (kotodama)”. It means literally word spirit - the belief that the words came out of us, once vocalised, have acquired spirit of their own.
I clearly remember one moment in the middle of an argument; the anger I felt in my heart, the heat filling my head … and the temptation of fighting back the mean comments with meaner words. But where would that lead us? More hurt, more anger - is that what we want?
So in that moment of argument, I chose to say: “言わないのが美徳” - I have the decency of not saying.
Some argue that it is important to be honest (and that is how I strive to live), but do we really mean the hurtful words we say when overtaken by anger? And what do we achieve by vocalising them? “Honesty” can not be an excuse for lack of self control.
Whether or not it is a magical belief, if the words we are going to speak do not sound more beautiful than silence, why bother?
We are intellectual beings, we can choose our actions and reactions.