我一直記得，紅樓夢（石頭記）的開篇討論了「存在」對比「精彩」的概念。一個石頭得到了永久的存在但是沒有感情，感情幾乎是得到永恆存在的「車票」。年輕的我問自己，如果可以選擇，我會選擇永恆卻沒有感情的存在，還是相對短暫但精彩的存在？我的選擇曾經是，也仍然是，後者。
I always remember, in the introductory chapter of The Story Of The Stone, the notion of “existence” vs “liveliness” was discussed. A rock acquired eternal existence without emotion, emotion is almost the “ticket” to eternity. At a young age I asked myself, if there is a choice, would I have chosen an eternal but emotionless existence, or a comparatively short but lively existence? My choice was, and still is, the latter.
在某個階段一個朋友評論道，我的人生簡直像是午間電視的情節劇，甚至算不上黃金時段的。很多事情同時發生著，我也接受了這種誇張的戲劇性為我早先的選擇帶來的後遺症。直到最近我才被挑戰來重新審視這個想法。
At one stage a friend commented that my life resembled the midday tv melodrama - no, not even prime time. A lot was happening all at once, and I accepted the melodrama as consequence of my earlier choice. Only recently I have been challenged to rethink this.
當我年紀愈長需要面對的不再是誇張的戲劇性而是真實的風浪，而這些在我的意識裡不該與「人生」或「精彩」劃上等號。接受生活中的不公，負情緒，以及心痛不代表一個精彩的存在；平和的存在也不代表沒有感情。選擇本來就不是非黑即白的，我們唯一真正的選擇也只是盡力活著罷了。
As I got older it is not melodrama but real turbulence I have been facing, and it should not equate to my sense of what “life” or “liveliness” should be. Putting up with injustice, negativity and heartache in life does not mean a lively existence; a calm existence does not equate to emotionless either. The choice was never black and white, our only real choice is to live the best we can.